Forgive me Lord, I know all too well what I do: Friend Edition

If I'm going to write a post composed merely of amusing or otherwise worthwhile links, the least I can do is pretend I collected them just for you, dear readers. Did I say pretend? Don't believe it. I got these special! (Everyone else thinks I'm talking to them, but I'm really just talking to YOU!) And away we go...

For Erik, Rosencrantz is dead: I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. If only I had found this song that you and I used to listen to earlier. Hamlet never sounded so good.

For Pat, Christmas in May: It seems I'll never grow tired of laughing at the lunacies of your ultra christian mother. (Who, of course, it must be noted is a fine, fine woman). Ask her this: What if the fetus someone was going to abort grew up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship? Now she can protect our troops from the womb to the war, with this stylish baby holding a gun ornament. Collect em, trade em with your friends (Also comes in "brown" model.)

For Pete, A Link to the Past: It seems like a lifetime ago, but one of the first real laughs you and I shared was over a diminutive Asian fellow with a penchant for hammering out old video game themes on the piano, and a talent for sexual poetry. You remember him, of course. We all do. One of these days I'll have to write a post with some of his funnier quotes ("But what about the law of diminishing returns?"), but for now, we'll have to settle for this a cappella performance which would have had him soiling his pants in delight.

For Ian, A Million Dollar Baby: Oh, we chide you Ian. Yes, I've said you drank to mask an inner saddness. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit, I've called you worthless. I now see the error of my ways. You're not worthless Ian. And thanks to Human For Sale, you can now figure out exactly how much you ARE worth. You know, just in case the job thing doesn't work out.

For Clayton, the 6 is Silent: Nobody has more weird names in their family than you. I'm sorry, it's true. Which is why I think the main character from Cax6ton, a very entertaining short story about a man's search for God through the randomness of the universe, would fit right in. Now that I think about it, this story would also make a great movie. Forget I mentioned it actually. These are not the droids you are looking for.

For Sarah, THE Definition of Love: It's a true regret that none of you have had the pleasure of meeting Sarah yet. But I think you'll find you know a lot about her already. Why, just look in the dictionary. And after you've done that, make your own dynamic images (including Uncle Sam and Einstein graphics) over at Hetemeel.