"Among the things Billy Pilgrim could not change were the past, the present, and the future."
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
My grandmother seemed somewhat ashamed this afternoon to admit that she didn't like Mother's Day. "It's ok," I whispered back. "Neither do I." And although they might never admit it, I know my siblings don't either, even given the fact that the older ones are either married to mothers or mothers themselves. In fact, most people I know don't like Mother's Day, which seems near sacrilegious to say outloud. I wonder, though, how many of you secretly feel the same way. How many of you had a bad mother? How many of you ARE bad mothers? How many of you wake up on the second Sunday of each May to a parental legacy of suicide, death, illness, abuse, or guilt? How many of you, like me, wake up on Mother's Day and wish, more than anything else, just that you had someone to share it with? If only one more time...
The courage to change the things I can...
If so, Anna Jarvis feels your pain. If you don't know who Anna Jarvis is, don't worry, I didn't either. But you can thank her for Mother's Day. It was through her repeated efforts that Mother's Day became a national holiday in 1914, which is a curious fact if only because she spent the rest of her life trying to get it abolished. In 1923 she filed a lawsuit to have Mother's Day stopped, and a short time later was even arrested while demonstrating at a holiday-related carnation sale, so enraged was she at the over-commercialization of what to her was supposed to be a sacred time for reflection and prayer. And I love her for that. I love her for attempting to protect the purity of her idea, for her effort to save it from those who would exploit it for monetary gain. As I do so, I recall the only violent act Jesus was ever said to have committed: "And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves; And He would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple."
And I think that those two things are somehow related.
And the wisdom to always know the difference...
Which is why I don't believe in Mother's Day; certainly not the slick, Americanized, Hallmark-approved version that is. Lost somewhere in aisle 5 of the greeting card store is the true purpose of the holiday, which is to celebrate those people who "mother" us, even if they are not our mothers. People like my grandmother, my brother, my high school journalism teacher, my aunts, my best friend's parents. People like my father - the best mother after my first mother that anyone in this world or the next could ever ask for. To them I daily raise a glass in praise.
And I don't need a fucking holiday to tell me that.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
My grandmother seemed somewhat ashamed this afternoon to admit that she didn't like Mother's Day. "It's ok," I whispered back. "Neither do I." And although they might never admit it, I know my siblings don't either, even given the fact that the older ones are either married to mothers or mothers themselves. In fact, most people I know don't like Mother's Day, which seems near sacrilegious to say outloud. I wonder, though, how many of you secretly feel the same way. How many of you had a bad mother? How many of you ARE bad mothers? How many of you wake up on the second Sunday of each May to a parental legacy of suicide, death, illness, abuse, or guilt? How many of you, like me, wake up on Mother's Day and wish, more than anything else, just that you had someone to share it with? If only one more time...
The courage to change the things I can...
If so, Anna Jarvis feels your pain. If you don't know who Anna Jarvis is, don't worry, I didn't either. But you can thank her for Mother's Day. It was through her repeated efforts that Mother's Day became a national holiday in 1914, which is a curious fact if only because she spent the rest of her life trying to get it abolished. In 1923 she filed a lawsuit to have Mother's Day stopped, and a short time later was even arrested while demonstrating at a holiday-related carnation sale, so enraged was she at the over-commercialization of what to her was supposed to be a sacred time for reflection and prayer. And I love her for that. I love her for attempting to protect the purity of her idea, for her effort to save it from those who would exploit it for monetary gain. As I do so, I recall the only violent act Jesus was ever said to have committed: "And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves; And He would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple."
And I think that those two things are somehow related.
And the wisdom to always know the difference...
Which is why I don't believe in Mother's Day; certainly not the slick, Americanized, Hallmark-approved version that is. Lost somewhere in aisle 5 of the greeting card store is the true purpose of the holiday, which is to celebrate those people who "mother" us, even if they are not our mothers. People like my grandmother, my brother, my high school journalism teacher, my aunts, my best friend's parents. People like my father - the best mother after my first mother that anyone in this world or the next could ever ask for. To them I daily raise a glass in praise.
And I don't need a fucking holiday to tell me that.
5 Comments:
most holiday celebrations would probably disgust the people they are meant to honor, because in almost every case the original meaning has been buried under a consumer wave (like mother's day, when pac bell and hallmark hold hands and cackle with glee) or in fact completely changed for something that would make more money (memorial white day sale, cause nothing says, "thanks for dying" like sheet shopping). let's not even talk about how cool it would be to see what jesus would do about christmas. dude, you thought the doves were bad? check out this after christmas burberry scarf table!
By
tuckova, at 4:17 AM
That is a lovely post. Everyday should be Mother's Day! Ha ha, I remember as a child asking my Mom when we get to celebrate "Kid's Day," GOD I was such a brat! It's so much pressure to make it only 1 DAY of the year that we honor tham, is it not? :-) Also, it's "...the courage to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference" ;-) Acceptance, Courage and wisdom ... good things to ask God for I think :-)
By
Princess_Sarah, at 9:39 AM
Te amo mucho mi Hermano. It seems every Mothers Day and every once in a while a reoccuring idea pops into my head. The thought of wow I cant forget to call MOM or I havent talked to her in a while let me dial her up. Feels so friggin real. Then I remember pause and laugh at myself. Kinda strange dont ya think or maybe its not. Maybe thats her way of dialing me up????????????????????????
By
Hermano1, at 4:39 PM
Well, dear brother, aren't you all doing exactly what Anna Jarvis was hoping for? You are reflecting your experiences with your mother and you are praying to see her and hold even if it is for just a few minutes longer. Some people go through life not appreciating the loved ones in their lives. Yes, for some people it's about buying the hallmark card and flowers. But for many others, they do spend the day reflecting on how wonderful their mother is or was, or for some people wishing that they had a better relationship with their mother. As a person who has lost a parent, I can say from my own experience, it could be a day of painful memories, or it could be a celebration of the time you had with that parent. No matter how short the time may have been, at least you have many wonderful memories to hold on to.
By
hermana- in-law, at 6:08 PM
A perfect post, my brother. A perfect post indeed.
By
fattyhidalgo, at 11:58 PM
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