"I heard a rumor, Johnnie Cochran died of an inoperable brain tumor," Or "If I don't get out of bed, I must be dead!"
There's no disputing that Johnnie Cochran was a brilliant legal mind and, quite possibly, one of the most persuavive people to ever enter the public eye. But when Sarah IMed me yesterday to tell me of his death, my reaction was apathetic at best, and, if I'm to be honest, closer really to bemusement. Which is all somewhat tragic really - that I would feel some inner glee at the passing of another - but also not completely irrational.
For Johnnie Cochran hurt America.
Johnnie was a sharp one, there's no denying that, but his high-blown rhetoric and appeals to the most banal of human differences catered to the lowest common denominator in all of us. He persecuted Lenny Bruce. He pulled the race card with OJ Simpson. He was on TV last year defending Pete Rose in a fake trial for ESPN. What the hell is a real lawyer doing on ESPN in a fake trial! Defending Pete Rose! This tainted legacy would be enough damage done for several lifetimes, if his legal philosophy didn't also SPREAD.
For instance, here's what I know about Scott Peterson: Judging from his picture he's an attractive man who was convicted of killing his wife...or his girlfriend, I'm not really sure which. But whichever one it was was pregnant at the time with his baby. That's it. Here's what seemingly every other person knows: Absolutely EVERYTHING. Scott Peterson was on the cover of People and Us Weekly more than Ben and J-Lo. And make no mistake about it, dear readers - when you pick up a trashy mag with the latest celebrity trial on the cover, when you turn into Court TV for re-enactments of the Michael Jackson fiasco, when you eagerly await a verdict as if you YOURSELF were the accused - you are sending a message. And the message is this: Justice is not about right and wrong, not about fairness or a clean shake. Justice is about entertainment.
And I blame Johnnie Cochran. No, he wasn't the first, and, no, he wasn't the ultimate cause. But he was both the best and the most visible.
How many of you heard the news about Cochran and immediately thought "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit?" Entertainment. How many of you remembered the Seinfeld character Jackie Chiles, who was patterned after Johnnie? Entertainment. How many of you thought, as I did, about the brilliant South Park parody, "The Chewbacca Defense?" As we say out here in Hollywood, "That's Entertainment."
And that, my friends and readers, is killing us.
So the next time a celebrity scandal comes your way, I challenge you to feel ashamed. Feel downright nauseas that it's on the cover of your favorite magazine. Feel embarassed for the people who watch talking heads debate legal strategy as if it's the goddamn Zapruder film.
Because one day all that will be left is the song and dance. And the song and dance stops for no man.
"If the casket is late, you must cremate!"
There's no disputing that Johnnie Cochran was a brilliant legal mind and, quite possibly, one of the most persuavive people to ever enter the public eye. But when Sarah IMed me yesterday to tell me of his death, my reaction was apathetic at best, and, if I'm to be honest, closer really to bemusement. Which is all somewhat tragic really - that I would feel some inner glee at the passing of another - but also not completely irrational.
For Johnnie Cochran hurt America.
Johnnie was a sharp one, there's no denying that, but his high-blown rhetoric and appeals to the most banal of human differences catered to the lowest common denominator in all of us. He persecuted Lenny Bruce. He pulled the race card with OJ Simpson. He was on TV last year defending Pete Rose in a fake trial for ESPN. What the hell is a real lawyer doing on ESPN in a fake trial! Defending Pete Rose! This tainted legacy would be enough damage done for several lifetimes, if his legal philosophy didn't also SPREAD.
For instance, here's what I know about Scott Peterson: Judging from his picture he's an attractive man who was convicted of killing his wife...or his girlfriend, I'm not really sure which. But whichever one it was was pregnant at the time with his baby. That's it. Here's what seemingly every other person knows: Absolutely EVERYTHING. Scott Peterson was on the cover of People and Us Weekly more than Ben and J-Lo. And make no mistake about it, dear readers - when you pick up a trashy mag with the latest celebrity trial on the cover, when you turn into Court TV for re-enactments of the Michael Jackson fiasco, when you eagerly await a verdict as if you YOURSELF were the accused - you are sending a message. And the message is this: Justice is not about right and wrong, not about fairness or a clean shake. Justice is about entertainment.
And I blame Johnnie Cochran. No, he wasn't the first, and, no, he wasn't the ultimate cause. But he was both the best and the most visible.
How many of you heard the news about Cochran and immediately thought "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit?" Entertainment. How many of you remembered the Seinfeld character Jackie Chiles, who was patterned after Johnnie? Entertainment. How many of you thought, as I did, about the brilliant South Park parody, "The Chewbacca Defense?" As we say out here in Hollywood, "That's Entertainment."
And that, my friends and readers, is killing us.
So the next time a celebrity scandal comes your way, I challenge you to feel ashamed. Feel downright nauseas that it's on the cover of your favorite magazine. Feel embarassed for the people who watch talking heads debate legal strategy as if it's the goddamn Zapruder film.
Because one day all that will be left is the song and dance. And the song and dance stops for no man.
"If the casket is late, you must cremate!"
4 Comments:
I think one of the most painful things about the man's death is that fact that I eneded up listening to NPR spend an entire day waxing poetic about the late great Johnny Cochran. Nobody came on the show to say, "That guy was a real bastard," but you get three different commentators bashing the Pope before he's even died. I know I kind of sound like a right-wing media watchdog group, but I'm pretty sure public radio dropped the ball on this one. I guess Johnny's still managing to mess things up from beyond the grave.
By
Puma, at 9:33 PM
(applause)
By
paper boats, at 11:54 PM
My Dear, I couldn't have said it better myself. You really made me think about the trash mags I read at the Doc's office. I do feel bad and I will think next time. Thanks!
By
the dot, at 8:52 AM
well put, however, you cast a stone from inside the same house. the deceit and hollywood drama you speak of is none other than that which is propagated by the hollywood film industry at large. the world has become driven by entertainment, not only justice. who has a larger shadow of force to play in this charade - HOLLYWOOD, or lolely Johny? the solid edifice supplanting the hollywood structure is one of deceit, glamour, and the catch-phrase. "Here's Johny" and "You lookin' at me?" are as equal to blame as is the monomaniacal brain of a loon. if there was no hollywood framework or idealogy from which to spring, cochran would never have had the impetus or canny to devise such dupliticious schemes of nonsense in the first place. if you want to talk in terms of values, you cannot do so while circumventing the greatest stimuli for their decline: hollywood. an industry that breaks no sweat in offering the likes of Paris Hilton multi-million dollar contracts in light of her recent whorish behaviour, is by no means an industry that should scold others for their poor conduct. the pot has called the kettle black.
By
fattyhidalgo, at 7:17 AM
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